slay the dragon slay him

todays writing task was quite strange i imagine if the characters could actually talk to the author and decide there own path? This is what i came up with.

The dragon on the page sitting here before me, from the very moment I started drawing him, seemed to always have a personality. He never said much but deep down I could hear feel his pain. Being killed by a night defending his countries honour. His gentle eyes begged and begged me not to add the night into the scene, however I took a step back and told him I was the narrator I get to choose your destiny. For a moment I felt like God would feel when people pray “oh God oh God what have I done to deserve this destiny”. Yet I had no answer, none at all. He may not like the path I gave him but it’s his path never the less.

Me me meeeeee

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Cover Design

The most amazing thing happened, monday this week, I got asked to design a cover for a book thats about to be published. I am over the moon at the opportunity, and have spend the past two days kicking myself for hiding my art away from these hungry publishers/writers, who teach me at Uni. I guess I always thought my stuff isn't good enough.

I've waited years to be able to do this design process for real, yet now that I I'm finally am able to, I'm terrified. What if I don't meet there expectations? What if what they ask of me, is far from what I'm capable of? What if I am stuck doing something I dislike?

Yet I know all the answers are simple. I will meet there expectations, I will learn by doing the project and liking it doesn't matter it's about meeting the clients needs.

Thinking out loud.

You can't choose who you fall in love with, you just fall hopelessly. Love makes you crazy stupidly ignorant and blind. I've said it before no one is too smart for love. Before you know it it's too late, you have fallen in too deep. Unaware how you even got there. That's what I want I want to just fall. Be blind to all the risks involved. How can I do that if I never give these guys a decent chance? Well believe me I'll know when I have to take that chance. I'll have a gut instinct and I won't be able to resist. I want to feel breathless feeling as if you have no control, when you walk past them. Then you will just know you have fallen. Helplessly in love. Over the past month I have done a lot of seeing guys. But I never feel or want to move past the first date. I don't mean to sound lame, but I refuse to settle. I want the type of love I read of in my books. Love at first sight, butterflies, denying the truth. Some people say that's asking for too much. But I'm only wanting what I feel I deserve. When the right guy comes along, I will just know. I'll have fallen for them before I even realize. And I'll love them completly the good and the bad. That's what love is. Even with ordinary friendship, loving and accepting someone for who they are. Loving there flaws, as well as the good things. The perfect man for me isn't a massive list of check points,I've discovered it's much more than that. Lots of guys can fit the perfect guy criteria, but that doesn't make them perfect. The perfect man for me may not match my check list, but his imperfections will seem perfect to me. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhon

youtubing

What a fucken loser this guy is on youtube.

Sara perche' ti amo (Because i love you)

My best translating attempt. What confusion It's because I love you An emotion That grows slowly slowly Stay close and embrace me tightly If I'm in high spirits It’s because I love you. I sing to the rhythm of your sweet breath It’s Spring Because I love you A star falls But tell me where we stand ? What do you care? Because I love you Flying you discover Higher and higher you go Fly, fly with me The world is crazy because There is no love Just one song is enough To cause confusion Inside and out of you. Fying flying we go Higher and higher we go ... But after all What's so strange? It’s just a song Because I love you If the world falls Then we move on If the world falls It’s because I love you. Stay close and embrace me tightly Its to beautiful to be real The worlds gone crazy Because i love you

Games.

Everyone one plays games. I'm not talking about video games here, just to clear that up. If you are still intrested keep reading. I bet I just lost about 75% of readers just there. Fine then leave I don't need you anyways. Plz come back lol. I'm talking about mind games. It's really just about knowing what level everyone is playing on. Nice, mean, fair, evil lol etc. I tend to give my oponets a false sence of satisfaction feeling as if they have fooled me. An example without giving much away would be predicting the out come and then pretending they got me. Therefore I can fool them back with no guilt involved as it falls under payback. But have you ever steped back for a moment to consider if people can see threw you, and the way you think? Therefore there is no point to continue playing any games. I haven't ever thought that until the past couple of months. It's a scary feeling the one in which you feel unable to win and you feel like someone is ahead of you. You tend to skip even trying beacuse you are scared of failure. Knowing that you could win but why risk failing. This new oponet has you rather worried and intimdated. So you spend time looking at them and wondering if they one step ahead of you? Do they see threw you? You ask youself are they that smart, to see threw the dullness? Shake you head pfft as if. No way they can be. However with some cases I feel complelled to wonder are they acting like they don't notice, just too fool you into believing what your doing is working? Or is that the conclusion they want you to make? So are fooled into admitting the truth by default. Then yet again, what if they never had a clue and you just blew cover. Either way you can't really win. Do you just show them one day that it's not what it seems? Or do you let them continue thinking that they have the upperhand and know it all? I guess everyone should be smart enough to know not to play games with someone who can play them better. But there are times when games are all you have to go on.

I care because?

Latley I've been doing a lot of thinking, which is a dangerious past time indeed. Spending countless hours thinking why some people deal with situations with ease. Yet others seem to not handle the same situation quite so well. Annoyed I was to discover that why is such an obvious answer that I already knew the whole time. Grrr. But the reason I looked past it was because the solution/answer is barberic, insane and horrible. However, no matter how horrible it is the saying is true, the person who cares less doesn't get hurt. Straight to the point but very true. Something I learned from experence. I guess that's the one thing that gets to people the most. Knowing. Knowing, the other side doesn't feel the same. Knowing you care so much while the amount they feel is inadequate compared to you. That's the part that sits in your mind, the constant wondering, why it doesn't mean as much to them as it does to you. Now we have identified the problem how do you stop caring? You plain and simply can't if you do. These days I tend to avoid admiting it if at all possible. I kick myself when I admit to it. Because it shows great weakness. Like playing chess and setting up your pieces to lose. No one starts inteding to lose. But emotions, well they fuck up any game play. I once lost my best friend in year 7. She wanted to hang out with this bitch who thought she was a witch. I believed she was a nut case. I told Vanessa that she shouldn't hang out with her. But she told me that our friendship was over after a massive fight. :( That killed me because I realized I cared more when I was going crazy without her and she was happy. I would not stand for that, no one is stealing my best friend without a fight. I got so angry that I turned the entire year 7 year level against miss ugly so that Vanessa could see that Rebecca blackywalker was fucken evil. And I'd do that any day for her. She still remembers that. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Avatar Inspired

Today I decided to use myself as the canvas and makeup as the medium. Overall result didn’t turn out like I had anticipated. Although I have gained a lot of respect for make up artists their ability to get fine lines and detail where as you can see I struggled. But I guess with a little more practice I should be kicking ass at this.

I guess i got a bit bored

Wow look at the time 8pm already? Wow time flies and I haven’t even fixed or gotten close to fixing Nonno’s birthday digital frame. To be honest I didn't expect them not to work now I’m screwed because his birthday is tomorrow. But it will work out some how it always does. I'm just lucky that way first thinks like to stress me out give me that extra push.

So what did I spend my day doing? Procrastinating of course :)

Well firstly I did some drawing but kept it down to 2hrs maximum. Isn't my dragon picture coming along nicely, I'm so glad i got this creative vibe back. LOL Expect lots of creative gifts photo frames, drawings, maybe t-shirts too.

Who votes we get fire to come out of his mouth? hehe

I believe my obsession with dragons has been inspired by pandora.

I will admit I'm no Roger Dean but i can appreciate the world he has crea

ted and inspired so many people with. He is a truly amazing artist i must say. You look at his fantasy scapes and say Unfuckingbelievable.

I could watch Avatar over and over and aim to learn something new each time. About colour, life, death, connection, networks, balance, psychoanalysis, trust, relationships ect. I guess they call it pandora because it's a world we want but never will be able gather the mentality or will power to acquire. Humans may be the dominate spices on earth yet we know little about the world and its connections instead of understanding them humans just spend hours destroying them. We truly are a one of a kind spices searching for answers while they stair us in the face. While even animals in the wild respect the land and know there purpose is here and now. What they see in front of them is all that matters. You might say its primitive of there undeveloped minds, but is it really? They don't spend there lives searching for something they have already got. LIFE! What more could you really ask for.

Secondly i did some exercise but ever since I was told I can't sit still and had it drilled into my head by Azz. You could say i have become paranoid about it. Because I'm underweight and its scary how much so I'm not going to mention it, but all I can say is Dr

Akel is going to kill me. I believe I may have a theory to why I'm so thin if I'm constantly in motion what if my body is constantly burning energy therefore i can never gain weight.

Thirdly I wrote a letter to Kassie, as a reply to the lovely one i received earlier today. Don't you just love receiving mail? It really makes you smile knowing someone took time out of there day to sit down and write you a personalized letter in todays busy society.

And lastly i worked on private projects which the release is still undecided.

Ok now back to Nonno's birthday present It’s not that I don’t like making all these creative things,it’s just always me making them.

I believe this is because even if anyone tries to help they do such a shit job and I have to re do it anyways. Then they seem to turn on me and call me a perfectionist because I must have it perfectly correct. Which isn’t anal at all! Well it not my fault I like the sound of 100% over 99. I guess thats a side affect that happens because I do a lot when a lot of planometric drawings of things. (Which for everyone who doesn’t know it’s a 3d object drawn on a 45 degree angle) They would be the nerdy drawings I put away so no ones sees. But not anymore from now

on art is public no matter how lame it is.

An example I can give you to best describe what type of drawings I’m talking about is this kitchen I drew where 2cm=30cm in real life. I guess I like doing it because I find it rather simple to do.

Lame I know that I find drawing like this enjoyable but its a nice change from free drawing. Drawing with structure rules and math involved ill admit i love it. You can even measure the sink and the hot plates in my drawing and compare it to the real life object and the will be to scale. Scary how that makes me happy.

I guess I spend a lot of my time transforming orthogonal

drawings into isometric or planometric drawings. But never in front of people. I find it strange when people can’t connect the lines in their heads to form the 3d image. Its rather simple here is a simple one I did in 10 minutes. I guess that explains why I love building new furniture looking at all the pieces not even bothering with instructions, just seeing the pieces all fit together in my head because of the way basic design principle works.

Sabbii's tip think of the object lets use a chair like the image. Now all you have to do is think of a box and subtract the matter. Hrrrm maybe it's best if i show you on youtube.

Now back to the digital frame its 9:14 now and yet i haven't attempted to fix the problem. But i do have ideas for my next dragon drawing as well as a new planometric drawing of a computer hrrm sounds challenging I like it. I shall rule up a 1cm grid tomorrow to prepare for it. While also commencing more new 2010 personalized frames.

While working on my top friends wall at home. (Oh and yes I'm making it so i can move people up places and down grade people if i have to). Things I need nice photos of me with each of my top friends. So far i have one photo and its out dated lol. Its Vanessa and i at the Zoo when we where 7.

creative mood :)

This week iv been in a over the top creative mood and i beleive its because i was inspired so much by great people. I knew i had a creative block my drawings for my liony book drawings prove that with the basic black and white sketches.

But now i'm on a roll

Projects I’m currently undergoing and working on are:

DRAWING

Final fantasy illustration

Dragon drawing

BOOKS

Liony book that is heading towards completion

Mouse and toad children’s storybook

VIDEO CLIPS

Happy 21^st birthday Vanessa (need to acquire photos to start this movie)

Dragon drawing. Feed back plz

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

MY 21st

I turned 21 although it feels no different to 20.

But everyone keeps welcoming me to the other side, saying i have crossed over. I believed when I turned 18 I could see pro’s to being 18, but what is so grand about being 21?

My parents organized a family and friends BBQ and acquired enough food to feed 300 people. There was only 50 people invited but you gotta love the wogs they're always over doing it.

My dad at the bread shop

Dad: I didn’t order enough bread! This is your mothers fault she told me 30 people and now there is 50.

Me: How many did you order? (looking at the big brown bag)

Dad: Only 80 rolls

Me: :O I think that’s more than enough

Dad: What if people want to eat two rolls?

Me: There is plenty of other food trust me dad.

(We have 70 left over rolls after the party btw lol)

Nonno helped me set up my balloon’s

doesn’t he look cute in this photo you look at it and can’t help but smile.

Overall the night went really well i went around like a yo-yo trying to mingle with everyone as best i could. Until i got fed up and decided it was a brilliant idea to chase my little 6 year old cousin around and knowing predictable me i fell over.

Oh thanks Shanan for the b-day rhyme lol

There once was a girl named Sabrina She used to drive a Barina She turned twenty-one And fell on her bum

And I cant remember the rest lol ( The reason for which is non alcohol related)

There was some dancing involved the good old tarantella it takes skill to move that fast and kick with fluent movements.

FAST FORWARDING TO THE CAKE:

My little cousin blew out my candles for me lol and made the entire party sing happy birthday the entire song three times. Yet after all that I forgot to make a wish. Yes as stupid as it sounds I forgot to make a wish on my 21^st birthday. Possibly the only birthday wish that counts and iv waisted it.

Oh out of all the gifts i received id like to especially thank my Zia Grace for spending the time to make me sweets that spell my name.

Id have to say overall my brother got me the best birthday gift ever brain training and more brain training on Nintendo ds. I'm addicted everyday as soon as I get out of bed morning I spend the first 5minutes of my life exercising my brain cells trying to beat my high score. Currently I can do 20 math equations in 58 seconds, which is good, but it’s not great my goal is to reach 30 seconds I know its possible because in primary school I used to do kumon so I am pushing my brain to work faster.

That night Annieh slept over and we spent most of the night on youtube lol "Somebody gonna get hurt real bad" (You got to love Russell Peters). Then after count less hrs of girly talk we crashed at around 6:30 am.

All in all a great 21st.

Problem

Sabbii diaries My problem is walking all over me. Aghhhhhh help me! It's like the size of an elephant. It's a mother fucken giant problem. Lol I created the problem now I got to fix it. The reason to why the problem exists simple i am to nice. The beast way to describe my problem would be annoying friend whom forces friendship on you. You try to leave but you are kept prizioner. Occasonally you are given healthy treats but you are forced to survive on pepsi max and canned bull shit till then. I honesly have tried to leave and ditch them but I never am able to. My excape plans always seem to fail. With facebook msn and myspace you can't hide anything. Even when I feel confident enough to say "enough is enough this friendship is over" I get a guilty rush over me. I think what if someone did that to me? I wouldnt like it, therefore why would I do that on purpose to some other person? Tossing around my reasons to hate them. But never can find one that is high enough. Well up to extreem standards where I find acceptable. I can't be mean, I just can't not on purpose. Isn't there a nice way to say I don't want to be friends with you. My best mate has said many times that people will try walk over me because i'm too nice. Truth is I don't want to continue on like this but I'm not mean enough to just walk away. In the end it's my own fault. I smsed back to the smses from the begining I played nice and it back fired I believe there is a lession here I was too nice now I'm going to hurt this person even more. Because they are more attached now and have this happy illusion in there head. But I got to make like Houdini and dispear. But still don't know how to tell them. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

drinks

My parents acquired drinks for my party tonight.

i think they got enough lol

6 cases of cruisers

and 2 cases of beer

Wog's and there obsession to out do each other.

BYO at a wog party fuck that, we don't do that shit lol

This is what the out door fridge looks like now. (mind dads zucchini just adds to the wogness)

Thats a lot of beer lol. Didn't even fit in our fridge lol

NICK

A note from sabbii's private journal

Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick

You will never guess who I saw today omg Nick. Drools.

That brang back memories.

OH for everyone who has no idea who Nick is. He was biggest high school crush iv ever had.

I remember his Jesus hair in high school fucken sexy. Annieh i totally understand you hair addiction. People threatened to cut his hair and my first thought "can i have it?"

They're always around and even though you want them there with you, you count the seconds till they leave so you can breath again.

You like them so much that being in the same room as them made you feel out of place so you had to leave.

You think if i felt so strongly about him. i would have said yes right?

WRONG i said no.

Things like this a better left as fantasies and what ifs.

Facebook

Facebook now smses me WTF. Bla bla bla commented on your status. And I care because ? If I wanted to know wouldn't I have cheaked myself. Facebook you suck. You used to be great but over the years you have evolved into a shit program. This new feature is really annoying like I didn't already feel like a secretary before this feature with people calling and smsing it's a made house. Now it's like iPhone has gone nuts I really don't approve of these status smses nor do i know how to make them stop. Published so Annieh can't say I don't blog anymore. :) - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

SMSes

Sending smses to the wrong contacts I do this on a weekly basis. It's never been too bad I believe this is because I don't talk behind peoples backs. I believe it happens due to multi tasking. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

time travel

Right now the question on my mind while I sit back and watch the tide rise is, "is time travel possible?" If it where possible wouldn't the future civilization come back to the past and prove to us that it is possible. (If humans are still alive, i say that cause of the theories placed on 2012). Maybe they can't tell us as it would affect the worlds history, well the time line of events anyways. All the actions must be played out the same in order not to affect the time line. I guess choices lead to other choices not making one might afftect someone's entire history. Does that mean I have no choice in my own destiny? And that all my actions have been written and I can't change my future? I like to think and believe I have a choice, that I can write my own destiny. Maybe you can write your own destiny and all the actions and decisions you make some how lead to the same point. That doesn't even make sense.

But what if you can alter history with you own decisions and actions. However if it gets altered by a third party member such as someone from the future. It alters the entire time line. As thoughts enter that would never have without the future influence.

Sometimes I think about going to the future, to see what I'm like and where my life is at. But other times I worry I won't live up to my own expectations. It could do more harm than good knowing the future. Tbc. I need to think more - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone